Limits As The Way: Part II

I am visualizing the boundaries of my life and I spin around now, and behind me, way behind at the farthest edge of my conscious awareness is my mother, my regret, my daughter, my grief, and every reflective drop coalesces, swallows me, takes me under, and I sharply inhale something like peace as I let myself go down. My terrain is a watery one. I’ve been ebbing and flowing here all of my life. When I get tired, I float on my back. I look up at the stars.

These unspeakable losses, a limit. A boundary. A frontier. Mine to explore. Mine to learn and relate to and know very well.

I notice the whole cosmos because it is so dark. I fathom the great unknowable mysteries beneath the surface because there is no sense to be made and only the thick presence of absence topside. I have been invited to learn the ways of flowing with heart-brokenness because my path is underwater, and I am always becoming more skillful at the deep dive. And the coming up for air.

…

Where You’ll Find Me

They will tell you otherwise, but it's okay
that you're still looking for me. I'm right here
driving down the I-99, air drumming on the steering wheel.
In the laundromat with the busted door, glass smashed
all to hell even though it’s been three weeks.
No one is coming to fix this.